Nems

So I'm not the only one yearning for the sweet, cold embrace of the infinite void. :D

So you know how when America does something boneheaded like repeal net neutrality it seems like other parts of the globe seem to follow suit? Well, I didn't expect Canada to be the one to jump on the corporate greed train so soon. http://www.canadalandshow.com/bell-pushing-end-to-net-neutrality-in-canada/ http://www.michaelgeist.ca/2017/12/bell-leads-radical-proposal-crtc-backed-mandatory-website-blocking-system/ http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/09/28/bell-canada-s-call-for-website-blocking-outrageous-advocates-say_a_23225928/

His Doomzone mod is pretty damn great as well. The classes all feel great to play no matter which one you play as. There's even Doomguy, Quakeguy/Slipgater, Point Man, and a Samurai/Lo Wang class. <3

Currently playing through TNT: Evilution with the Lithium mod. TNT: Evilution has become something of my testing ground for trying out gameplay mods. :P

I only have one and that's to be more active in Doom multiplayer. I dunno why I stopped to begin with when I had a blast and didn't encounter the typical bullshit found in newer multiplayer games.

You're quickly becoming one of my favorite mappers, dude. This is amazing. :D About the only real complaint I had with this level set was that navigation was a bit confusing. The switches you need to hit to get the codes or start generators aren't marked like regular switches. Of course, this could just be a case of me being old and having a bad sense of direction. :D

Except it's not the end? It still has to go through Congress and the courts before it happens and there's been claims (I'm not using the word evidence because I haven't found links to back it up yet) that the vote was illegal to begin with (which wouldn't surprise me). Though (unpopular opinion incoming) if people are willing to throw in the towel now and tuck their tail between their legs rather than keep fighting then maybe they deserve to lose net neutrality.

My go to for my Doom 64 fix is Nevander's Doom 64 Retribution TC.

Do you need a hug? Because you sound like you need a hug.

Like them or not, you can't deny that the Cacowards does highlight everything the Doom community has to offer. Not just Doomworld but even outside of it. In a way, things that weren't nominated get talked about anyway and people still get to discover new creations not covered by the Cacowards. It opens up a discussion - a very passionate discussion, at that - about a 20+ year old game that we all love, that still stands on its own, and is the gift that keeps on giving in terms of content. I can't think of any games off the top of my head (at the moment) that have so much to offer to its fan base, regardless if you're a consumer of the content (like myself) or a creator or even both! Especially considering the horseshit a lot a modern games are pulling off these days, it's nice and refreshing to see that there's still a community dedicated to a game created in the early 90's that stands strong on its own in terms of gameplay and content, a community that (in my opinion) loves what they do as much as they love the game that inspired them to create for it. So happy birthday Doom. You deserve this celebration. Again, how many games can boast about having a community that has lasted as long as this and has contributed as much content as Doom has? :D

Unpopular opinion but more vanilla/chocolate/limit removing level(sets) because I'm sick and tired of Boom (compatible) level(sets).

First impressions so far (I'm about 10 - 12 maps in so far): I'm absolutely in love with the level design. Just enough modern/GZDoom mapping tricks used to enhance the levels without going overboard. It feels like just the right amount of slopes, 3D floors, and scrips are used to make for an experience that still feels vanilla while not being vanilla, if that makes any sense. :P Gameplay is pretty tough but that's because I refuse to play on anything below Ultra-Violence (even if I am a nub). It has more of a survival horror feel versus the usual run-and-gun action I'm used to when I play a megaWAD, which is a welcome change. Overall I'm pretty impressed and personally I feel like this is Cacoward material. I'll share my full thoughts once I beat it. :D

Not realistic or even practical. Depression, suffering, and/or suicidal thoughts occur anyway. Having a "special somebody" doesn't make those go away. It can actually make the depression, suffering, and/or suicidal thoughts worse because now not only do you feel like a burden to yourself but also a burden to whoever that "special somebody" is. Their attempts to alleviate the suffering can also be the very thing to push someone over the edge. I say this as someone who deals with one or more of these things on a daily basis and as someone who's tried to kill myself when I was 16 or 17. Ultimately I recommend that people find a reason to live that doesn't involve being dependent on someone else. I'm not saying don't seek help if you feel like that. I'm saying don't be reliant/dependent on someone else to ease the pain of depression, suffering, and/or suicidal thoughts/ideation because it's not a guarantee that it'll alleviate those feelings. Live for yourself, first and foremost. Granted, I also support "right to die" initiatives for those who do want to end their life after exhausting every other option - mainly for those who have chronic/life-long physical/mental/developmental illnesses - so no one else gets sucked into the body count like with what happened here. I realize that's a pretty controversial view to hold and I'm expecting flak for it. However, try to look at it from the point of view of someone who deals with this kind of thing on a daily basis (and if you can't/won't then...I don't know what to tell you other than maybe not read beyond this). After a while you feel tired and numb from fighting to make things go right for you. You're just going through with the motions anyway. You're not living so much as you are existing. You want it all to stop. You want a break, a permanent break. However, no one ever tries to look at it through the lens of someone wanting to die. They don't put themselves in their shoes and I don't blame them, as frustrating as it can be. It's a scary place to be, for someone with everything to live for. For the person wanting to die, it's an everyday occurrence to feel like this. Other people claim that it's selfish for someone to want to commit suicide. The people I know who feel suicidal are the most selfless people I know. I posit a different view: the selfish ones are the ones who encourage the suicidal person to continue to suffer to appease their own feelings, to not face the realities that 1) death is inevitable and 2) some of us want an express lane to whatever waits for us beyond if there is anything. I honestly think if people would take the time to try to practice a little more empathy for the suicidal person, it could be better dealt with. Again, speaking from experience when I was/am suicidal, I don't want solutions. I don't want a pep talk. I don't want some pie-in-the-sky false hope of what could be, be it a "special someone" or future job/educational/financial aspirations. When I was/am suicidal, I want someone to listen to me, let me let it out freely and without having to censor myself, even if that means I go into detail about how I want to die. Once I let it out and I'm not judged for it, I feel better. Sometimes a hug helps too. Regardless, for someone this young to want to die is really heartbreaking. There's something deeply wrong in society when you have someone that young already wanting to end their own life. I'd expect to see these kinds of feelings from someone in their mid to late 20's. 12 is just too fucking young to be feeling like that. My heart goes out to him. It's also shitty that the woman died considering what she was training for. We really do need more people to help those who do want help with suicidal feelings and this loss is just as heartbreaking. My heart goes out to her as well.

You absolute mad man. :D I love your work and dedication to this. <3

I plan on getting this next when I'm able to get me another Steam card. I was gonna get Dying Light but it can wait (that and it costs more than Dusk :V).

I'm playing through the Lost Episodes of Doom again with the following patch I found: I'm also playing through it with Xaser's NecroDoom RC2, Lud's CustomDoom 1.8.2., and Spaceman333's Slomo Bullet time Ultimate universal mod. https://forum.zdoom.org/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=31741 Xaser's NecroDoom https://forum.zdoom.org/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=51446 Lud's CustomDoom https://forum.zdoom.org/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=57013 Spaceman333's Slomo Bullet time Ultimate universal mod

For me, it's a mix of the Biblical description, what's found in the Divine Comedy, what's mentioned in Paradise Lost, with a small touch of Lovecraftian 'this thing/place that should never be seen/found/described' horror and some Quake 1 aesthetics. Also void spaces/abysses as those places give off a kind of 'ancient Hell' or 'worse than Hell' vibe. Barring those things, I also imagine Hell to be a place where the worst of the worst of anything exists with a twist of the grotesque, where everything is perverted in some way by evil. It's not just fire and brimstone. It could literally be anything. Don't like snow/ice? Have fun with this blinding snowstorm where the freezing snowstorm is made of human fat! Hate spiders? Have a giant arachnid where the body is an upside down head (i.e. an oversized Trite). Hate eating your vegetables? Now the vegetables eat you! Didn't like babysitting children when you were older? Now those same children are babysitting you, only you're stuck in a razor wire covered crib while they poke you with pins and needles. The horrors are infinite and just as soon as you get used to one horror, Hell finds a way to ratchet up your fears so it's a brand new horror all over again with an added twist you were hoping wouldn't be added. You never become dull or indifferent to what you're exposed to because Hell makes sure each thing you experience is fresh in its torment of your mind, body, and soul.

You got me wanting to play the Dead Island games again and save up for Dying Light. I know people give Dead Island a lot of shit but I really enjoyed the games. ._. Other games that I play at the moment that aren't iD games: F.E.A.R. (the first one and their expansions, Extraction Point and Perseus Mandate; I didn't like 2 and 3 is barely better than 2 to me because it has Point Man again and because Bucket dies) S.T.A.L.K.E.R. (mainly the Call of Chernobyl mod that takes all of the maps from the three games and cut content and mashes them into a giant sandbox; hella fun stuff and worth a try if you have Call of Pripyat) I don't play much or deviate from Doom and those games, to be honest. :I