Doing your best work

[LVENdead]

I wrote this little ponderous essay about the purpose of doing your "best work" and edited it into a video. I'm coming from the place of a Doom mapper, so that's kind of the flavor of the conversation, but really we could be talking about any creative pursuit here, or even work in general.

 

 

This isn't really meant to be persuasive. Nor is it comprehensive. I hope it will give you something to (even momentarily) think about, or discuss in the thread. I just can't help but turn this silly little hobby into an exercise in navel gazing.

[Maribo]

re: the bit about "playing what's best for you at the time" is very true and can massively affect what you think of a work at any given time, and you (general you, not you specifically) should be aware of this! I've written in the past about how much I love stuff like Italo-Doom, but I haven't been able to enjoy any of the maps from Italo or maps made in Italo's style for months, because I'm just not in the mood for heavy trial & error / silly / absurdist slaughter of that kind.

 

I think I elaborated on this before, probably multiple times, but I make maps for myself and I find that satisfying. There was some consideration put into I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU ANY THING's length, given that it is a visual overload and how it butchers so many items' pick-up strings, but usually the extent that I map "for others" is that I try to fix issues like wonky teleport closets and potential softlocks. I also often work under the constraints of very minimal (or very noisy) textures and speedmapping time constraints, which are both things that I think helps me not get too wrapped up in "is this better than what I released last time?" type of thinking. I hope that others can also find this same kind of satisfaction in mapping for Doom, because there is someone out there who will play your work and probably really enjoy it, whether you're making the millionth techbase or bringing your nodebuilder to its knees with the next macroslaughter magnum opus.

[97th Century Fox]

A great watch! I definitely relate to that mountain of unfinished wads bit. I've been mapping since the turn of the decade, so more than 4 years, yet I've released only one wad thus far. Looking back on it, it's got all kinds of jank in it, like the fact it comes with the entirety of Otex bundled with it, or how I've made a Boom compatible map run with Supercharche making it exclusive to GZDoom, or the fact that it uses a stock Doom 2 midi. Maybe one day I'll pay it a visit and give it a little makeover, but that's beside the point.

It definitely is crude in places, but I still love it. I love the unyielding saturation of stalagmite and stalactite sprites I found on Realm667 in every cave area, the oft jarring shift of themes from tropical, mesoamerican looking temples to desolate nukage wastes.

It's rough around the edges, and while it definitely isn't my best work compared to the kind of stuff I'm tinkering around with these days, it remains my most satisfying work, since despite it's crude nature, it remains my only released work on this forum.

Alright rant's over I feel like I'm shamelessly advertising my old wad lmao

[Stabbey]

I only watched about five minutes of it. The video didn't speak to me at all, way, WAY too navel-gazey. I'm much more interested in making maps which are fun to play than ones which are trying to be museum-quality works of art, full of gorgeous details.

[HeadshotTAS]

As someone who is currently going through the insanity of trying to make a 64-level megawad, realizing that perfection is impossible is undoubtedly necessary, since you'll never be able to outdo yourself for the millionth time in a row. But for me, the more important thing is motivation: I make the maps I want to make because they're the type of maps I want to play. To me that's far more important than "doing your best" or making your "magnum opus". It's not that I don't strive to do either of those things, it's that it's important to realize that you can't please absolutely everyone no matter how hard you try, and that's okay. It makes sense that we will fixate on what others say about our work, and I certainly appreciate any feedback I get on my maps, but this conversation ignores what I think is more important; that is, the satisfaction and fulfillment of creating the art that is authentic to yourself. Making any kind of art is just as much about the experience of creating it as it is about putting it out there in the world, if that's something you even feel like doing. That's what I've learned from making my own maps, anyways. I've been happy to see how my maps have been received in the Doom community, but for me it wasn't even in my mind that I'm going to be making "the best" ever maps for Doom, because I was just having a lot of fun making them in the first place. I think that if you just focus on that experience without worrying about making the best thing ever, that's the way to go. That's what I think.

[LVENdead]

6 hours ago, Maribo said:

I hope that others can also find this same kind of satisfaction in mapping for Doom, because there is someone out there who will play your work and probably really enjoy it, whether you're making the millionth techbase or bringing your nodebuilder to its knees with the next macroslaughter magnum opus.

 

This is my favorite aspect; for everyone that is absolutely floored when another black and neon slaughter monstrosity hits the forum, there's another who gets excited to see another stock texture techbase. Not every map is all things to all people, but the entire body of content available certainly is.

 

3 hours ago, 97th Century Fox said:

It definitely is crude in places, but I still love it.

 

Coming back to your old work and still finding it endearing despite the faults you see in it is always a great sign.

 

3 hours ago, Stabbey said:

I only watched about five minutes of it. The video didn't speak to me at all, way, WAY too navel-gazey. I'm much more interested in making maps which are fun to play than ones which are trying to be museum-quality works of art, full of gorgeous details.

 

Totally fair. I know not everyone is interested in getting this serious about making Doom maps and I respect that. Thanks for giving it a chance anyway!

 

2 hours ago, HeadshotTAS said:

I think that if you just focus on that experience without worrying about making the best thing ever, that's the way to go. That's what I think.

 

For sure, and I do think the video probably makes it seem like everything I do w/ respect to Doom mapping is this agonizing effort to quell critical self-talk, but the truth is mapping is one of the most enjoyable creative experiences ever for me, which is why I spend so much time with it. But I also accept that I am often a perfectionist and as much as that wins me kudos when I really nail it, I also acknowledge the counterproductive effect it has when it paralyzes me from making real actual progress. Perfect quality is an asymptote, and at times I do have to take a step back and realize I'm chasing the curve that will never cross the line.

[ShallowB]

This was very beautifully put, and exactly the sort of thing I needed to hear these days!

 

People often ask "what difficulty should I play on," "what wads do I need to play," "which source ports are the best," and I'm always quick to tell them not to worry about stuff like that and to just play Doom in whatever way is fun for them right now. There's a weird tendency for some kind of internal mental judge to poke you in the brain and criticize you for not having fun "the right way," which doesn't usually promote having fun and usually just stresses you out and ruins any attempt to enjoy yourself.  But the same is true for creating wads in the first place.  If it's okay to play Doom however you want, it should be okay to map for Doom however you want.  

 

I could use that reminder more often.  And not just in Doom, either!