Captain Red

I have this silly habit of hearing/seeing something on the radio/TV/Real life that will compel me to write theses page long angry blog rants that I never finish. Partly, because the stuff I rant about would only make sense to other Australians or people who watch a certain show on TV, partly because My anger subsides after a few sentences, but mostly because I'm lazy.

here's a summary of the would be rants:

People talking in a movie in a theatre.
I had just come out after seeing RotK for the first time, and these 2 dipshits who had obviously no interest in watching the movie spent the whole fucking time talking about football, their shitty utes, and how many times they had beaten there girlfriends. I halted this rant after I realised it was mostly about me wanting to beat them with their own limbs, but being two much of a wuss to confront them.

Tail graters.
Some wench decided to tail gate me for FIFTY KILOMETRES. The 80K speed limit was clearly posted and I had no intention of passing it (P plates), but this idiot decided that she needed to get somewhere fast. I ended up pulling over to let the witch pass. Next time I'm just going to slow to a craw.

Games boxes that are about 30x10Cm and contain 1 CD in a Paper slip.
Why do they do this? In the old days, games had huge Manuals and heaps of disks, so it made sense that they had boxes that size. But now? If you are going to put then in boxes that size, you could at the very least, put them in standard CD cases. Jesus Christ.

Channel Ten
This one on the rants that would only make sense to Australians. Channel Ten are reasonable for introducing Big Brother to our shoers, they bort Good News Week, killed it, and replacing it with the awful Rove live. They have the dumbest advertising executives on the face of the planet (they even made golden age Simpsons look lame!). And while we are on the Simpsons, they NEVER show season 1 (and it’s not because they don’t have it, as they did show a season one episode in one of there appalling ‘Simpson specials’ hosted by such ‘celebrates’ like the losers from big brother) they keep cutting stuff from the 2-6 episodes to the point that the jokes don’t make sense. Seriously, they must think there audience are fucking morons.

Reality TV
The commercial channels have hit the Reality TV dirrea button this year. Christ Almighty, they are starting to rival American sitcoms in numeracy (and quality, though I have at lest liked one or two American sitcoms). Who likes this shit? What is the fucking appeal? I haven’t seen ONE Reality TV show that is wort watching. That includes the Osborns and Jerry Springer.

John Fucking Howard.
He’s a basted, he’s a fear mongering yet spineless. He wants to privatise everything. He relied on Australia’s Xenophobia to win the last election (anyone familiar with Tampa will know of witch I speak) He tried to bring Australia’s borders inland so refugees couldn’t land (witch, thank Christ, was smacked down be almost every other party). He lives in the fucking 50’s. He loves the queen for some idiot reason. He is trying to kill Medicare, He has no understanding of public schools, criticizing them as being ‘Values Free’. He recently turned to fag bashing, yes, that’s right, taking his lead from his hero, Gorge, He has decided to try and outlaw gay marriage. That was the one thing I did respect him for, not being homophobic. He sure showed me. He seriously considered re introducing national service. He love Gorge too. He has gone on record as saying he wants him to serve another term. YOU ASSHOLE. Aside from the fact that he doesn’t have the fucking right to tell the Americans how to vote, what crack is he smoking? And that’s not even going in to Iraq. Aside from the fact that we had NO FUCKING BUSINESS THERE, HAD ABSOLUTELY NO OBLIGATION TO HELP THE US THERE AT ALL, AND HE BULL SHITTED ABOUT BARLEY BEING SOME HOW INVOLVED TO GET THE PUBLIC ON HIS SIDE (not that it worked). He just HAD to go on and on everyone’s TV and announce to the world that he and Gorge where bosom buddies. THANK YOU MORON. WE REALLY NEEDED THAT ATTENTION. I’M SURE THAT FREE TRADE AGREEMENT WAS WORTH IT.

Smug Australians that think there better then Americans.
Let me say this: America has its problems. One of those problems are Guns. But just because we have strict guns laws dose not make us better. Australia doesn’t have a culture. We steal from other cultures instead. And we steal, mainly, from the US of A. it’s getting to the point that the only difference between ‘us’ and ‘the US’ is that we pay twice as much for fuel. And since we keep electing a Prim Minster who’s sole duty is to basically emulate America in every way he can, makes us hypocrites. Frankly, if we had their population and they’re miliary, I think we’d be even bigger bastards.

You can add your own mini rant, or you can argue with something said.