E.M.

MAP13 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start I'm grumpy and tired and I just want to get this done and over with. So here's the final map. The intro looks like the first, but now it has alien aesthetics. Yeah, yeah, I know the architecture is a marvel to behold and how it's a painstaking work of art and blah blah MtPain27 waxing poetic blah, but as with many of the other maps in this wad, the gameplay is insufferable. The map is filled with large hordes of randomly assorted monsters. There are almost 600 enemies here and there's nowhere near enough ammo to deal with them all. Most of the action takes place in the giant circular centerpiece room. The highest outer rim is loaded with imps, hellknights, and mancubi. Not only that, but the place is also home to two dozen cyberdemons who will splatter you when you least expect it. The entrance to the central structure is blocked by four walls that you need to lower. To even start lowering them, you need to run around to the northern part of the rim, take a lift up, press a switch, head immediately south, take a lift up to the base of the central structure, run around to its southern side, and then grab a keycard from a dead marine. I didn't even know that was an obtainable item when I first saw it. I thought it was just decoration. Large portions of this map were designed purely to waste your time, such as the teleporters in the northeastern section, the long pain floor gauntlet full of pinkies and specters, and the maze to the east. The final fight is a clusterfuck of arachnotrons, revenants, and an archvile. Again, amazing architecture and presentation, atrocious gameplay. Conclusions I get the feeling that B.P.R.D. is an alien, not only because his mapping style is unlike any other, but also because fun is a foreign concept to him. He spent an incredible amount of time and effort creating gigantic, extravagant, finely decorated maps, but then he proceeds to undermine his own work by depriving the player of ammo and implementing borderline trollish encounters. This has been the case for everything he has made, from Equinox all the way to Grove and The Mucus Flow. This wad has some enjoyable moments, most notably MAP09 and MAP11, but they were overshadowed by the many infuriating parts. I have no intention of coming back to this because it is clear that B.P.R.D. and I will never see eye to eye.

MAP12 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start This is one of the most mean-spirited Doom maps ever made. Not even MtPain27, the biggest B.P.R.D. fanboy on the planet, was willing to defend it. It's that bad. It starts off by forcing you to run across a narrow land bridge in between two pits full of pinkies that might as well be inescapable considering how quickly they'll bite you to death. Nearly all of your weapons are guarded by an archvile. There's nowhere near enough ammo for said weapons. You're forced to run across a damaging floor while collecting stimpacks and avoiding random packs of monsters. You can't protect yourself from that damage with the secret invuln because the teleporter leading to that area is on an intentionally delayed lowering platform. The level expects you to know that you need to jump into a giant metal cylinder and press a switch at the bottom in order to progress. You're then required to jump into another pit, kill all the monsters down there, and press all the switches before a crusher flattens you. Immediately after that, you're forced to fight monsters on a slowly rising platform. You then have to fight your way through a valley of mancubi which were put there purely to burn through your ammo. You then have to press a switch on a platform guarded by three archviles. You get the BFG at this point, but the only cover you get from their attacks is the aforementioned switch because the platform they're on isn't high enough to block their line of sight. You then have to climb a self-assembling tower while an Icon of Sin continually shits monsters on you. And since this isn't MAP30, they all get stuck on each other. This is easily the worst, most fun-hating map in the whole wad. Throw it into the Lake of Fire where it belongs.

MAP11 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start Here's the final hub level. It's also the best one because it has actual gameplay. A large hole has been torn into one of the walls which leads to a cave system. It's kind of confusing and hard to navigate, but it never made me feel hopelessly lost. It also features much better ammo calibration than most of the other maps in this wad. It's not generous but it's not punishing either. The fights on the cliffside can get pretty difficult, but it doesn't get frustrating at all. I always save a few BFG shots for the barons. My favorite was getting the spidermom to infight with her children. I also enjoyed BFG-ing that large crowd at the end. Overall, it was pretty decent.

MAP10 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start It's like Plutonia's MAP11, except not fun. It takes place on the UFO you entered in the previous map. It's a dark labyrinth full of archviles, complete with creepy ambient music. You're given a plasma gun at the start and a BFG at the end. Fear quickly turned to frustration, however, as I died again and again and again. The biggest problem with this map is that there isn't enough ammo to kill all 51 archviles. There's no berserk either. If you run out of ammo, then you'll find yourself slowly punching archviles to death. I honestly can't tell if the ammo deprivation was the result of incompetence or malice. That also applies to everything else B.P.R.D. has made. The combat scenarios were also designed to be as insufferable as possible. There's the one where a lift lowers you into a pit with an archvile who is guaranteed to get a free hit on you. There's the tall central platform that has three archviles on it, and a few more show up after you press the switch you find there. And then there's the final room where a bunch of archviles teleport in and ignite you repeatedly. B.P.R.D. was straight up trolling with that one. I hated this map. I would rather pluck all the hairs out of my scrotum one by one than play it again.

MAP09 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start In this map you face off against hordes of monsters. They would be intimidating if it weren't so easy to make them all infight. Said infighting opportunities make this one of the easiest maps in the whole wad. The giant UFO at the end was also pretty cool. The rest of the level is pretty forgettable, though, as it mainly consists of gunning down hitscanners and low-tier demons in dark corridors. You can grab the blue key by utilizing that protruding hitbox technique from E4M1. The invuln secret was pretty dumb, as it forces you to run across a long stretch of damaging floor. Despite its flaws, it managed to be really fun. The same cannot be said of the next map.

MAP08 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start Another hub level. Now you're given a plasma at the start due to the higher tier monsters, the most dangerous one being a pain elemental. What I like to do is run around them, open up the middle door to let the chaingunners out, and make them all infight to save ammo. It's okay, I guess.

MAP07 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start On the positive side, the ammo is much more balanced and you even get a berserk which makes the combat a lot more fun. On the negative side, this map has an insane amount of backtracking, level progression is incredibly confusing, it suffers from a really bad case of "I sure hope that switch did something" syndrome, and to top it all off, it's way too fucking big. It took me nearly fifteen minutes to realize that I was required to jump into a hole, get back out of it by pressing a switch and raising the floor, and then pressing another switch on the pillar that was just raised. Not even the Master Levels was that needlessly complex and convoluted. The dark hallway was a lot longer than it needed to be, and it's too easy to just run past all the monsters and make them all infight. I stumbled upon the soulsphere secret completely by accident, but I was never able to get that secret invuln. When I got to the randomly teleporting archvile, I said out loud, "No, fuck you. I'm not doing this shit." I then kept running and got to the final room: an oversized square monstrosity of crate towers. I had plenty of ammo by that point due to the aforementioned infighting and berserk usage. When you take the teleporter in the center, you're placed right in front of a group of chaingunners who will perforate you almost immediately. What a dick move. After much trial and error, I pressed a switch I found in one of the crate towers which lowered a platform in the center. I took the platform up, pressed the switch at the top, and ended the level. This map was a confusing, tedious slog and I never want to play it again.

MAP06 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start This one is much better than MAP04. The aesthetics and layout are more akin to modern Doom maps. The combat is more balanced. There are plenty of infight opportunities. It even approaches something resembling fun at times. Unfortunately, B.P.R.D. ruins it near the end by forcing you to fight three barons in a small space. He expects you to use the SSG since he gives you a bunch of shells beforehand, but I saved up plasma for it. The fight was still asinine, though. What's even more asinine is how he hid a BFG at the end, one you can only find after you've already killed everything. That's some Master Levels shit right there.

MAP05 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start This is just like the first hub level, except harder. And by harder, I mean it's now full of chaingunners. There are also a few pinkies and imps and even a hellknight. You can make them all infight. Not much else to say.

MAP04 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start If the previous level didn't make you rage quit, then this one certainly will. The opening room is a complete clusterfuck. It's a giant mass of randomly assorted imps, pinkies, and hitscanners. You can make them infight to save ammo, but it won't really matter in the long run. You can press a switch in the southwestern room to open up a secret, but if you press the wrong one, then said secret will be unobtainable. What a dick move. I had to camp a lot in the northern balcony area, not only because of the hitscanners, but also because of the two arachnotrons in the corners. I had to plink them to death with the pump action because any other strategy was too dangerous. A large portion of the map's second half consists of chaingunners in hallways. B.P.R.D. took all the wrong lessons from Plutonia. The worst part is where you take a lift up and are greeted by a cyberdemon. It's a roll of the dice whether you escape or get splattered. I don't care if people regard you as an avant garde artist. Bad level design like that is inexcusable. I then proceeded to kill the cyber with the SSG just to spite the wad's author. The only ammo pickups you'll get from this point forward will be from hitscanners, so you better hope you found that hidden chainsaw in the southwestern room of switches. I also hope you enjoy the tedium that chainsaw combat provides. The final room looks impressive, but after all the bullshit I went through, I didn't care at that point. I just wanted to get it done and over with.

MAP03 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start It's at this point you'll realize that B.P.R.D.'s conception of "fun" involves ammo deprivation and chainsaw combat. I do not like his conception of fun. I do not like it one bit. If you thought you could avoid that problem by playing continuously, you're wrong. You're screwed either way. The dark maze full of pinkies was one of the most horrible forms of Doom torture I've ever endured. That section was deliberately designed to eat up all your ammo. Through autistic stubbornness, I saved up shells, pushed through it, and got the chainsaw hidden in there. Once that happened, the combat became tedious. So tedious, in fact, that I didn't even bother going for a UV Max. I just rushed to the exit. There's some nice detailing, but I was too frustrated by the gameplay to care about any of that.

MAP02 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start This is the first of three hub levels. There's not a lot to say about it. You grab the shotgun at the start and kill what few monsters are here. You can beat the whole thing in less than a minute. Brevity like that is sorely lacking in this wad.

And now we move on to Equinox. This was B.P.R.D.'s first major Doom release. (Nuts was created purely to test the FTP upload system.) When I first started playing custom Doom maps in 2019, I went through the Cacowards of years past. B.P.R.D. was mentioned often. The way he was talked about made him seem like the greatest Doom mapper of all time. I played The Mucus Flow and I despised it. I wrote up a long post detailing why. I then tried playing Equinox because that too was highly praised. I ended up rage quitting halfway through MAP03. Now I have returned to force my way through the rest. Suffer with me. MAP01 DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start I will admit that B.P.R.D. is a master at presentation. The gigantic entryway gives you the impression that you're about to go on a big adventure. There are custom textures, custom sounds, and even a custom HUD. It's obvious that a lot of time and effort was put into this. Too bad the gameplay doesn't live up to the expectation, but I'll get to that later. If you've watched Dean of Doom, then you'll know what to do first. Don't let the entryway distract you. Take a left, head down the stairs, follow the footprints on the sand, press use on the wall, and get a shotgun early. The map layout is straightforward and the gameplay is run and gun fun. There are lots of hitscanners, but also lots of health. You can even find a slightly overpowered secret. If the entire wad was like this, I would have enjoyed it. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Let's get this wad done and over with. MAP17: Sacrilege DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start Here's another fun map. It consists of a starting area that is later revealed to be the end area (spoilers), a large hub, and two teleport areas. I recommend going through the blue area first as it will allow you to get properly geared up. The red area will be a pain without it. Some of the detailing reminds me of Alien Vendetta, which I like. The progression is pretty straightforward compared to previous levels. It doesn't have many of the needless complexities that plagued this wad. Best of all is the combat. You start off by SSG-ing stuff, but then things get even more exciting when you start rocketing groups of imps. Find the secret BFG for even more fun. The spider mastermind at the end was a pain to deal with, though. The moving platforms made it too dangerous to get close, so I had no choice but to rocket her down. Sacrilege is definitely one of the wad's high points. MAP18: Die Heuschrecke (Die, Huge Shrek!) DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start Here's an Icon of Sin map that just wants to get things done and over with. It gives you all the weapons right at the start, you go to a few small rooms, press some switches, reach the Icon, press more switches, enter the icon, shoot some rockets into a hole, and then you win. It reminds me of MAP30 from TNT, but shorter and more fun. Combat wise, it's one of the easiest final levels I've ever played. You can just blast everything with the BFG, but I berserk punched some of the monsters to make things more interesting. The whole thing makes for great speedrunning fun. In conclusion, Operation: BIOWAR was kind of a mixed bag. Some parts of it were really fun, but it was plagued by a strange compulsion to make things as overly complicated as possible. I understand that they tried to make an elaborate adventure with some puzzle elements, but they did so in bizarre ways. Many of the design choices on display here would never be tolerated by current year Doom map standards. Despite its many faults, I still managed to enjoy it. Up next is Equinox by B.P.R.D., and I'm going to tell you upfront that I am not looking forward to it at all.

MAP16: The Killing Fields DSDA-Doom, UV, Pistol Start The start was pretty fun. I loved that ambush that teleports you to the red key and opens up two doors full of monsters. Unfortunately, things go downhill after you go through the teleporter, as the wad once again falls into its bad habit of making things overly complicated. It's hard to figure out where you need to go the first time around. The yellow key is on top of a lift that is quite a distance away from its switch, so you need to run fast in order to catch it. Ammo is tight once again. I almost ran out when I got to the spinning skull maze. Said maze is a slog to get through. You can find a BFG in there, so it isn't completely bad. Unfortunately, you won't be able to use it for anything fun because things get way too easy after that. In the plasma gun room, you can blow up a bunch of imps with barrels. There's a lonely Baron in a pit. His sole purpose is to waste the time of UV Maxers. Same with that caco in that secret room that isn't marked as a secret. The hardest monsters you face after that are two arachnotrons. Not even a spidermom? Come on. Once they're taken care of, you're teleported to a switch that raises a bridge that leads to the exit. The most outrageous part is that thanks to a developer oversight, you can press the switch from below and beat the level in less than a minute.