Creaphis

Yup, here's one.

Here's another.

The difference this time is that I'm not prohibiting myself from surfing the internet, or even from surfing Doomworld. I'll probably keep posting here on a semi-regular basis - but, it sure as hell won't be from my home computer, because in a moment I'm going to unplug the network cable from the back of my computer. Then, I'm going to unplug all other cords, leads and wires, separate all items of hardware that make up this computer, and possibly hide them all over the house. I've already uninstalled all of my games and deleted the porn stash I was keeping in my "discrete math" folder. The idea is to make it as difficult as possible for me to make the decision to "fuck it all" and then spend an entire day, or weekend, or weekend-plus-the-two-following-days-of-classes, absorbed in the most foolish and unsatisfying of computerized pursuits, suppressing the urge to pee, the urge to eat, and any and all thoughts pertaining to reality. For some of you, my dismantling my computer may seem like an unnecessarily drastic response, like when AndrewB chopped his balls off, but honestly, my life is in a shambles. Yes, I realize that being depressed an unmotivated is the norm for an aimless student, but I like to think that I bring it to the next level. Also, I've realized that my brain chemistry is not actually to blame for my behaviour, as I think I actually have a naturally positive disposition, but what's suppressing that is an obsession with virtual escapes that passes the clinical test of "addiction" with flying colours. They say that talking about these things is good for you. This is such a lame addiction. I wish I was addicted to something cooler, like cocaine or opium. I was watching an episode of A&E's Intervention and this one girl was addicted to aerosol computer dusters. All I could think was "That is so lame." At least I can live with a can of aerosol computer duster without struggling with temptation.