Doom 2's secret level text screen doesn't make any sense

[Individualised]

..what? Doom 2 is set on Earth, not in Hell. I get that it's "Hell on Earth" but that's just another name for England. Also "Looks like it's been built by humans, rather than demons" even though you enter the secret level from a human city. I cannot believe that they would make such a mistake and now I wish for a refund for every single piece of Doom software and merchandise that I have purchased immediately. This mistake has caused severe distress to me and I must receive compensation ASAP.

 

(In all seriousness though, always thought this message was weird.)

[Foxpup]

6 minutes ago, Individualised said:

you enter the secret level from a human city.

No, you enter the secret level from a medieval castle with a moat of lava, the presence of which in a city is rather difficult to explain if only humans were involved in its construction.

[Individualised]

3 minutes ago, Foxpup said:

No, you enter the secret level from a medieval castle with a moat of lava, the presence of which in a city is rather difficult to explain if only humans were involved in its construction.

Considering how... vague... the texturing in Doom 2's city levels are, that could easily be interpreted as some sort of waste surrounding yet another factory building.

[Foxpup]

Oh. I must have just been confused by how effective the crenellated tower is at shielding those annoying sniping hitscanners, almost as if such towers are literally designed for that purpose. Certainly I don't recall those being a common architectural feature of factories, or peaceful structures in general.

[Individualised]

2 minutes ago, Foxpup said:

Oh. I must have just been confused by how effective the crenellated tower is at shielding those annoying sniping hitscanners, almost as if such towers are literally designed for that purpose. Certainly I don't recall those being a common architectural feature of factories, or peaceful structures in general.

Uh... let me desperately come up with an excuse to this one...

 

I know! They just thought it looked cool when they built the city. That's all. Nothing else to see here.

[Scypek2]

Old castles can sometimes be bought for cheaper than houses if you pledge to take good care of them. I imagine it's possible to do that and also put a factory inside.

[dasho]

Pretty sure it's supposed to be some kind of "humans can create things that rival hell" statement about the Nazis or something.

[magicsofa]

I think the point was just to hint that Nazis are coming. If you really think about it, the existence of Nazis is whatever year it is in Doom II doesn't make sense anyway. Maybe they literally meant that these SS guys are now chilling in Hell with cybie?

[DNSKILL5]

It isn’t supposed to make any sense. The two secret levels are just homages to E1L1 and E1L9 of Wolfenstein 3D. 
 

Though really, it sounds like what is being said is that the secret levels are passages to hell, but the structures here are man-made instead of being made by the demons. I think that makes sense. 

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

You know what else doesn't make sense? You probably never noticed it, but all of the enemies in DOOM are flat. Like, how can they even walk? Look at the Mancubus with his fat and flat ass. It just makes no sense. How do they not blow away with the wind? It's almost like the developers didn't really care about it making sense. It's so stupid. At the end of DOOM 2, you have to shoot John Romero's head with rockets in order to win the game. How much sense does that even make? How did John Romero get decapitated, and why is his head behind a big flat demon? It's complete nonsense, absolute bullshit. When you get teleported to a secret area based on a completely different game where you get assaulted by flat nazis in a flat blue maze, the text screen doesn't make any sense. Why is the building designed like a big maze? How do the nazis navigate the building without getting lost? It doesn't make sense to me. None of this shit makes sense to me.

[Cammy]

Personally, I think it's very good and cool that all the Nazis canonically went to Hell in the Doom universe.

[Faceman2000]

I always assumed you entered hell for those two levels and then return to earth.

 

But also I always skip those two levels cuz I don’t care for them.

[TheSlipgateStudios]

Stop being such a snowflake then

[Individualised]

4 hours ago, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

You know what else doesn't make sense? You probably never noticed it, but all of the enemies in DOOM are flat. Like, how can they even walk? Look at the Mancubus with his fat and flat ass. It just makes no sense. How do they not blow away with the wind? It's almost like the developers didn't really care about it making sense. It's so stupid. At the end of DOOM 2, you have to shoot John Romero's head with rockets in order to win the game. How much sense does that even make? How did John Romero get decapitated, and why is his head behind a big flat demon? It's complete nonsense, absolute bullshit. When you get teleported to a secret area based on a completely different game where you get assaulted by flat nazis in a flat blue maze, the text screen doesn't make any sense. Why is the building designed like a big maze? How do the nazis navigate the building without getting lost? It doesn't make sense to me. None of this shit makes sense to me.

I agree! I'm starting to think that Doom is just a nonsensical series of games. I mean, demons?? Teleporters?? When have you ever heard those words in the same sentence? It just doesn't make any sense. Doom is simply not a good game anymore, now that I have recognised these flaws. In fact, Doom is not a game.

 

2 hours ago, TheSlipgateStudios said:

Stop being such a snowflake then

But snowflakes are pretty :(

Edited January 22, 2023 by Individualised

[Doomkid]

ERM, AKTUALLY..

 

Victorian architecture, including castles and turrets, are not exactly a rare sight in or adjacent to numerous cities and towns (particularly in Europe but we have some here in Aus too), so the idea that the castle in map15 was “obviously” made by demons rather than humans is shaky at best. In fact, it looks rather man-made, so I think you’re spot-on to point out that inconsistency in the secret exit text. Garbage storyline, 0/10.
 

(I could buy it being “demon corrupted” but until proven otherwise, that is a mother-fuckin-bitchass man-made castle, far as I’m concerned…)

 

The explanation of Castle Wolfenstein and all its guards being in Hell this many years after the events of Wolf3D makes perfect sense to me though!

[No-Man Baugh]

2 hours ago, Doomkid said:

Victorian architecture, including castles and turrets, are not exactly a rare sight in or adjacent to numerous cities and towns (particularly in Europe but we have some here in Aus too), so the idea that the castle in map15 was “obviously” made by demons rather than humans is shaky at best. In fact, it looks rather man-made, so I think you’re spot-on to point out that inconsistency in the secret exit text. Garbage storyline, 0/10.

From Doom 2's Episode 2 text screen:

Quote

“Sensors have located the source of the Alien invasion. If you go there, you may be able to block their entry. The Alien base is in the heart of your own home city, not far from the starport.”

I would rather believe that demons have an affinity for castles than believe that Doomguy is British or French (Now an aussie Doomguy, I can get behind)

 

But regardless of the origins of Industrial Zone's castle or Doomguy's nationality; by this point he's been through many a human city and starport, so it shouldn't be very note-worthy to him to find yet another one, again, unless the construction of castle Wolfenstein is so cruel and unusual that on first blush it's equivalent to something built by hell itself

 

 

 

BUT TO GET TO ANOTHER IMMERSION BREAKING PLOT-HOLE:

 

After slaughtering his way thru both of Mars' moons and hell itself in Doom 1's first 3 episodes: Doomguy finds himself back on earth only to find himself infront of a burning skyline coloring the sky in a smog of hellish orange and his pet bunny's decapitated head personally pinned to a spike by Hell's very own

 

jumping to the added 4th episode, Thy Flesh Consumed, he is set to an immediate followup of the events of Inferno's ending: The sky is still stained with the same orange, the undead are suddenly appearing around him, even a tasteful reuse of Sign of Evil from the final map of Knee Deep just to accentuate the hopelessness of the demon invasion.

 

Spoiler

no joke I actually really like the way command control starts out, it's probably the best bit of in-game story telling and mood setting of any map from either Doom or Doom 2

 

But after making his way thru another early act of his eventual odyssey and handedley laying to waste many multiples the demons he's encountered in even their native hell; we are given another text screen:

Quote

The spider mastermind must have sent forth its legions of hellspawn before your final confrontation with that terrible beast from hell.  But you stepped forward and brought forth eternal damnation and suffering upon the horde as a true hero would in the face of something so evil. Besides, someone was gonna pay for what happened to Daisy, your pet rabbit. But now, you see spread before you more potential pain and gibbitude as a nation of demons run amok among our cities. Next stop, Hell on Earth!

So this is it! The set up for Doom 2: Hell On Earth! They said it, THEY NAME DROPPED THE SUBTITLE!!! Oh boy I can't wait to see what havoc my lad's making in...

 

...space?

Quote

Back at last. After days of hard fighting in space, you've returned home on well-earned leave. You're one of Earth's crack soldiers, hard-bitten, tough, and heavily-armed.

So the "Hell on Earth!" that E4's ending was setting up was already settled with off-screen, and now he's coming back from space, presumably from yet another campaign of hell cruelty we didn't get to play...

 

 

WHAT A RIP!

(quotes copy+pasted from https://doomshack.org/doomstory.html [which in turn were source from https://classicdoom.com/doomtext.htm]because I didn't feel like screenshotting the relevant text screens or manual text, thanks @Doomkid and classicdoomguys!)

[BMWAG65321]

The way I subconsciously made sense of it is that it's a teleporter to Hell because the secret exit is a generic Hell-style teleporter. Since Doomguy's already been to Hell, he's familiar with its stench and was taken aback by the distinctly ordered, human architecture combined with it, a stark contrast to Hell's usually more abstract architecture.

Then strange demon magic requiring four Keen souls whisks you back to Earth to liberate two Petersen homes.

[Maximum Matt]

I always thought of it as a Quantum Leap-style regression into Doomguy's past life of being Blazkowitz escaping Nazi jail, some kind of evil magic dream sequence thing (remember, Wolf 3d had some some evil demonic elements to it)

[Wyrmwood]

In the Uk we all either live in housing estates or castles and lava moats are all the rage right now. I'd always assumed the hell on earth part was set in Glasgow, looks just like it.

[Captain POLAND]

I figured the Nazis were the same ones that BJ killed in Wolfenstein 3D but they were now in Hell.

 

 

[Murdoch]

I love all these elaborate theories about the meaning behind the Doom II secret levels when in truth the thought process was probably something like this...

 

OG id guy 1: "Hey, let's put some Wolfenstein maps in for the secret levels."

OG id guy 2: "Sure."

[TheMagicMushroomMan]

2 minutes ago, Murdoch said:

I love all these elaborate theories about the meaning behind the Doom II secret levels when in truth the thought process was probably something like this...

 

OG id guy 1: "Hey, let's put some Wolfenstein maps in for the secret levels."

OG id guy 2: "Sure."

OG id guy 3: "A fine idea, if I might say so myself. In this moment, the potential for expanding our lore is incredible. The hellish ideologies of Nazi Germany will coalesce with the literal Hell that is on Earth. That is to say nothing of the Hell that lives within our hero's shattered mind. Do you guys have any more cocaine?"

 

OG id guy 4: "Shut up, Tim. What the fuck is a lore anyway?"

[Foxpup]

They probably just wanted a Wolf3D reference that was less likely to be misinterpreted than the infamous swastika room in early versions of E1M4.

[Murdoch]

2 minutes ago, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

OG id guy 3: "A fine idea, if I might say so myself. In this moment, the potential for expanding our lore is incredible. The hellish ideologies of Nazi Germany will coalesce with the literal Hell that is on Earth. That is to say nothing of the Hell that lives within our hero's shattered mind. Do you guys have any more cocaine?"

 

OG id guy 4: "Shut up, Tim. What the fuck is a lore anyway?"

 

That's exactly what happened, I am sure of it.

[maxmanium]

19 hours ago, Foxpup said:

They probably just wanted a Wolf3D reference that was less likely to be misinterpreted than the infamous swastika room in early versions of E1M4.

 

This is it, it's just a reference to their earlier work in a newer engine.

[No-Man Baugh]

19 hours ago, TheMagicMushroomMan said:

OG id guy 3: "A fine idea, if I might say so myself. In this moment, the potential for expanding our lore is incredible. The hellish ideologies of Nazi Germany will coalesce with the literal Hell that is on Earth. That is to say nothing of the Hell that lives within our hero's shattered mind. Do you guys have any more cocaine?"

 

OG id guy 4: "Shut up, Tim. What the fuck is a lore anyway?"

"What the fuck is a lore anyway?" got me too good