Doom Dad Jokes

[DSC]

Lets make the crappiest dad jokes possible about Doom, because why the hell not? I'll start it: what you call a marine that comes prepared with stimpacks and medikits in his backpack?

Spoiler

Dr. Doom

 

[Ozcar]

"Thats right ranger im the doom." -Doomguy

 

[Stupid Bunny]

Once I was playing Entryway deathmatch and I realized the guy from Twisted Sister was one of my opponents

 

You might say it was a Dee run-in

[kwc]

What did doomguy find while looking for his missing shoe? 
A lost sole 

[Doomkid]

What kind of lottery would Doomguy enter?

 

 

….a plasma raffle.

[SPG]

What grade might TNT Evilution's "Caribbean" map receive?

A D, mon!

[SleepyVelvet]

When the other demons caught wind about The Cyberdemon's humiliating defeat by Doomguy, the situation became the Tower of Babble.

[spineapple tea]

44 minutes ago, SPG said:

What grade might TNT Evilution's "Caribbean" map receive?

A D, mon!

Man, that's like a double-dad joke.

[Dubbag]

hell knight, why not hell day or somthin' yah know?

[SPG]

51 minutes ago, SPG said:

What grade might TNT Evilution's "Caribbean" map receive?

A D, mon!

I felt compelled to see if MtPain27 inadvertently made this joke in his TNT Dean of Doom episode, and he gave it a C-. So close!

[DeathWolf1982]

why did chainsaws have one thing for mars?

 

Cutting demons!

[RonnieJamesDiner]

How come Chaingunners, Hellknights, Revs, Arachs, PEs, Mancs, and Archviles weren't in Doom 1? They couldn't find the entrway.

[Sonikkumania]

Absolute king of Doom dad jokes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUuRuVZk6U4

 

Spoiler

 

 

Spoiler

 

[Sonikkumania]

Also something I came up with:

 

[Sonikkumania]

After a Nightmare enduring year at my workplace The Toxin Refinery, I wanted to take my wife and kids out of our Tenements from the Suburbs to see the Bloodfalls. The flight plan was Dead Simple, even though we almost missed the check in, as the flight attendant signaled The Last Call while we we're looking for souvenirs.

 

All the local Tricks and Traps made the holiday feel like an Impossible Mission. Unfortunately I got scammed pretty bad with a fake Nirvana shirt, and my son got himself a copy of Wolfenstein which no boubt was a bootleg. The sight of Bloodfalls was a wholesome experience. My daughter made a good one on front of the sight, screaming "I'm too young to die!" and we had a good laugh. Gotcha, I can guarantee you'll enjoy a trip in there. Just Go 2 it!

[Lucius Wooding]

What did Doomguy use to clean up all the demon gibs?

 

Spoiler

A brutal broom

 

[HeatedChocolate]

14 hours ago, SPG said:

What grade might TNT Evilution's "Caribbean" map receive?

 A D, mon!

Thank god it wasn't a C, man.

[Gez]

I had a dream that imps would invade the real world. It's imp-portent. Do you think it's imp-possible? If it happens, we are all imp-periled.

 

 

(I did not have such a dream in fact. I was imp-lying.)

[Eurisko]

What is Doomguys favourite movie?

 

Spoiler

Edited September 27, 2022 by Eurisko

[Daytime Waitress]

3 hours ago, Gez said:

I had a dream that imps would invade the real world. It's imp-portent. Do you think it's imp-possible? If it happens, we are all imp-periled.

 

 

(I did not have such a dream in fact. I was imp-lying.)

 

Implying? Or imploding?

Spoiler

 

[Razza]

What do you call a demon that's being forced to hear these jokes?

 

A Sighberdemon

[Polri]

What do you get if you arrange 4 arachnotrons of different colors in a row?
 

Spoiler

Spider Mastermind

 

[Gez]

What do Pain Elementals listen to on Spotify?

Spoiler

Lost Soul Music

 

What's the Baron of Hell's favorite book?

Spoiler

One Thousand and One Knights

 

How do demon call resurrection potions?

Spoiler

Arch-Vials

 

[Sonikkumania]

Two Hell Knights had a fight. Who won?

Spoiler

The player.

What refreshment do the demons prefer?

Spoiler

Caco-Cola.

What do other demons call an Imp who always shines Cyberdemon's RL and prospetic leg?

Spoiler

Simp.

What do Wolfenstein SS troops dream of?

Spoiler

MEIN LEBENsraum.

What will Doomguy do when his phone's battery is down to 5% ?

Spoiler

Supercharge.

What is Doomguy's British cousin's name?

Spoiler

Judgement Fellow.

HAHAHAHEHEHEHOHOHO oh God

[durian]

On what musical instruments is Doomguy particularly skilled?

 

Spoiler

Ultra-Violins.

 

[Polri]

Why did a grizzly bear wander into a doom level?

Spoiler

To attack The Revenant

 

[Lutz]

Dad mode: ACTIVATED

 

What do you call a big, fat demon chef?

Spoiler

A Pancubus

 

What do you call a big, fat demon season-ticket holder?

Spoiler

A Fancubus

 

What do you call a big, fat demon network technician?

Spoiler

A LANcubus

 

What do you call a big, fat demon grandma?

Spoiler

a Nancubus

 

What do you call a big, fat demon who has been out in the sun?

Spoiler

a Tancubus

 

What do you call a big, fat demon that runs a ride-sharing business?

Spoiler

a Vancubus

 

[Daytime Waitress]

44 minutes ago, Lutz said:

What do you call a big, fat demon grandma?

  Reveal hidden contents

a Nancubus

 

 

Alright, this one got me. I now want to see a fractured fairy tales WAD where Little Red Doomgal has to visit her morbidly-obese, housebound granny.

[Dusty_Rhodes]

@Lutz that was incredible.

[Andromeda]

Kinda fatsophobic though :P