You're a game reviewer in the early 90s and must make an unbiased and fair review of the newly released "Doom".

[CasualScrub]

The internet as we know it today doesn't exist just yet, and it's your duty to provide your magazine with a review of the game for you reader base. You must be fair and impartial.

 

What do you write?

[MassiveEdgelord]

It's fun though it's bullshit you can jump or crouch.

[⇛Marnetmar⇛]

If only you could talk to the monsters

[taufan99]

A big improvement over Wolfenstein 3D. Offering a much more immersive experience than its predecessor, it indeed deserves the attention it has gotten now. Those looking for a more intelligent, complex gameplay beyond several puzzles and strategies to take down the enemies, however, may not find this game on their recommendation list.

[P41R47]

its compatible with Brutal Doom?

[cambreaKer]

good game. could've been even better if there was a double barreled shotgun

[Maximum Matt]

Imagine if that Duke Nukem game was 3d like this

[45th Parrallel]

Doesn't Suck.

[Chip]

How Peculiar and gritty. One of the scarier games I've played. Levels could be longer. Although it is much better than its predecessor, Wolfenstein 3D. Worth the 40 bucks! 

[Rei is now real]

3D Gaming at it's finest! It's just like stepping into another dimension and you don't even have to put on pants! 

[kwc]

I love the game.
If I don't stop playing it my wife is going to kill me.
You're in this dark, nasty place... pretty disgusting.
It makes me sweat.
It takes my mind off work.

[Endless]

Yes, this is a Christian game.

[Eurisko]

"Don't show it to Grandma" - Your Mum 

                                                     "Take it to church group" - Sadist Monthly

"Wolfenstein 3D Who?" - PC Pro                                                                           

                                                                                           "As realistic as it'll ever get" - EGM

                                                            

                                                             "Not as good as COD" -IGN

                                                       

[Jayextee]

11 hours ago, Marn said:

If only you could talk to the monsters

I came here to say this. 7/10

[Doom-X-Machina]

"This game is dumb. The graphics are drawn like a bad cartoon, the plot is downright silly, and the extremely over-the-top violence is so graphic it could make young teenagers shoot up their schoolmates! I simply cannot see a game like this catching on or ever becoming a 'thing'. DOOM will be forgotten in 12 months time along with the rest of this new so-called 'FPS' genre."

- Doom-X-Machina, 1993.

[CBM]

A step up from pacman

[Soundblock]

You'll have to buy a new PC to fully enjoy this

[spineapple tea]

I swear I've heard these songs somewhere before.

[Martin-CAI]

Are humans or demons actually Doomed?

[Doomkid]

Just for context, here are LOADS of old reviews and previews from 90's mags and such:

 

https://doomwiki.org/wiki/Press_articles_about_Doom

 

Just click the little numbers in the "Link" column. An interesting set of time capsules for sure!

[Robot J]

The game is very great albeit with a few flaws. but We will move to those soon. First let's start with music. It is very metal, and awesome. Heard rumors that they based it off some actual songs from bands like Metallica and others. If I had to pick a favorite it would be E1M1. Really great starting music to set the mood straight. Alright now let's go to the gameplay itself. Gameplay is really cool. Step up from wolfenstein, Each episode has a secret level which can reward you in different ways, Looks like it's the first 3D PC engine. Weapons like the Shotgun and Chaingun are really good for medium groups of weak enemies or very small groups of strong enemies. While weapons like the Rocket Launcher and BFG can takes down alot of enemies at once. Now let's move to the flaws. Sometimes the music can feel weak and not fit with the game, and sometimes the music feels like it doesn't loop properly, The gameplay can get repetitive sometimes which is annoying. but sometimes can be fun. Another flaw I'd have to point out is that sometimes the game pits you against enemies that you aren't ready for. Other than that the game is soild. My final rating would be 8/10. (I wrote this using my best critic mind. Probably not what most would write but I tried. This is also kinda what I feel about doom personally too)

[Optimus]

i remember an old review in a greek computer magazine, at the time they used to pay more attention to adventure games and other genres, this one took 1 page of review while the big reviews were taking 4 (it seems weird in retrospect, for such a historically classic game like Doom, but didn't know the impact it woudl have then). It had a fair score but not as high as you'd expect for such a groundbreaking game, the author criticized that graphics are ugly because they get too pixelized up close. He said the imp fireballs were eating too much of his health and that makes it hard. I think he wasn't into this genre (it was almost new afterall), he was more familiar with adventure games and other genres I think.

[Tony_Danza_the_boss]

Needs more super shotgun

[Optimus]

I found the review in another greek magazine https://archive.org/details/USER_46/page/n23/mode/2up but not the one I remember (PC Master).

I am gonna read it because it's fun!

 

In the editorial of this USER issue, it says "DOOM: The best arcade adventure game of all generations!" LOL

At the time, there was a genre called "arcade adventure" but it was for games that were not purely leasure point and click adventure, but needed some tight controls from the player, but mixed this with puzzle solving, e.g. platforms like Jet Set Willy, or some other where you both have to jump over enemies but also carry items with you that you will use, like Dizzy series. The term was more popular in 8bit home computers, which the authors were familiar before. So, I guess Doom was arcade adventure for them, since it has action and needs reflexes, but also sometimes you hunt for the key or press switches like a puzzle or adventure game? Funny..

[Jello]

You don't have to kill bunny rabbits like in Catacomb Armageddon. 10/10.

[muumi]

runs poorly on 386

[Chopkinsca]

I'm sure I'd start it with something like "I had a very hard time peeling myself away from the game to write this review".

[Hitboi]

if you have a copy of this, then you're naughty! 8/10

[CyberDestroyer]

Acting like everyone else in the 90s here, not my thoughts.

 

SHOOT IT UP WITH ULTRA 3D GRAPHICS! With a realistic engine, 

DOOM has you fighting though the bases of MARS. SHOOTING DEMONS.

The monsters in DOOM are a wide variety of DEMONS. FROM HELL!

The violence is set to ULTRA EXTREME REALISTIC gore!

So buy DOOM TODAY! You wont regret it!

 

[Havoc Crow]

"...The premise is as offensive as it is childish: sometime in the future, demons come pouring out of hell and attack a human city. The player plays the role of a lone gunman who is tasked with killing demons, without much rhyme, reason, or objective.

 

From the start the game is overloaded with upsetting visuals. It feels as if the authors desperately tried to pack as much vileness into the game as possible. The game starts off with you looking at a pile of bloody remains of a terribly tortured human being. As you move through the game "world" you encounter more such bloody, sickening scenes.

 

But that doesn't even measure to the violent acts the "hero" of the game is committing. The demons, but mostly normal people, keep attacking you mindlessly, and you are forced, nay encouraged to kill them, equally mindlessly. You can beat them to death with bare fists, put bullets in between their eyes from your pistol, riddle them with shotgun shells. The defeated enemies collapse with gaping wounds, fall apart into piles of viscera, even drop to their knees and howl in pain before succumbing. The player's viewpoint itself becomes tinted red as the enemies' blood splashes against his eyes.

 

Occult imagery, as if taken right from the pages of Satanic Bible, abounds throughout the game. Pentagrams painted in blood and grinning skull-like demonic faces are encountered often. There is not a single part of the game that is free of such vile images. Frightening-looking artifacts with occult-sounding names such as "soul sphere" are found throughout the game. All of this is presented in smooth-looking 3D technology, the better to make the player identify with the deranged killer.

 

An ugly, contemptible, juvenile game; by far the worst the field of electronic gaming has yet offered.

No rating."

 

* * *

 

On a real-world note, I've once read an old Wolfenstein 3D review from Poland, where the reviewer loved the game yet was very uneasy about the violence. Maybe half of the review was devoted to philosophical musings about whether war and killing can ever be justified, and whether it is okay to depict such things realistically in a video game. It really is interesting how people react to things they're seeing for the first time.

 

Actual quote:

Quote

And it goes without saying that this game should be banned. From a humanist point of view (...) I would order all copies to be destroyed immediately. From a human point of view ... I play it every day.

[Source: Jacek Grabowski, Morderstwo czy dobry uczynek?, Enter nr 10/1992, s. 86.]